When in Peril, Call for Daddy

It's 4am. I have just woken up from the creepiest dream I've had in a long time. I'm so shaky I'm considering writing this in a different font. But since I can't sleep and it's Monday, I'm going to be spiritual about it.

So here's what happened...

I'm at home at my parents' house and it's somewhere between 11pm and midnight. My father and my friend are there upstairs. My friend is drinking iced tea made with orange squash, but that's irrelevant. I've just had a call from my mum, saying she'll be home soon and she won't wear her pyjamas to school with me tomorrow.

Then there's a knocking sound.

'That could be Mum coming home,' I think, so I head downstairs and open the door. But the person standing in front of me is not my mother. He looks like the kind of guy who might deliver you a parcel in an American film, except this is the back door and it's pitch black outside.

And a moment of panic hits me as I stare at this man, who is grinning manically at me. 'This is the back door,' I think. 'Only a crazy guy would be determined enough to climb over the fence and through the bushes into my back garden.'

Then there's a few horrible seconds while both of us pull on the door and it swings backwards and forwards but will not close.
"What's the matter?" he says, laughing, "Don't you want to let me in?"

And I am utterly terrified. This man is stronger than me and is going to win the struggle and force his way into the house and murder me. Without really thinking more than the knowledge that I am helpless, I scream "DADDY!!!"

Except that the word sticks in my throat and comes out barely above a whisper and I know he won't hear it and he won't come to my rescue. And I open my mouth to scream again but my lungs close up and I can't make a sound and I know I'm going to die. And that's when I wake up, unable to breathe.



So, yeah. Now you know why I'm scared. Apologies to anyone reading this alone on a darkened night.

I'm not entirely sure if God gives me messages through my dreams or if I just interpret them that way. But since this was more or less my first thought on waking, I'm gonna roll with it.

The creepy mailman represents sin. Sin is present in all our lives, whether we acknowledge its existence or not. Generally speaking, we don't want it there. But still it is. So using this dream as a metaphor, I'm going to draw out the following points:

• Sin chooses its moment.

When the knock on the door came, I was distracted. I was annoyed at my mum for letting me down about the pyjama day. I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing. So easily, I slip into sin without realising it. Too busy focusing on the wrong things, I fall before I've even realised I tripped.

• Sin poses as something innocent.

When I went to open the door, I thought it was my mother. If I'd thought about this logically, I'd have realised this didn't make sense. But by the time I'd stopped to think, it was too late. How often we self-justify, or choose to think something is okay when it isn't. How often we are wrong in that assumption.

• If we looked, we might see sin coming.

The back door is made of glass. If I'd looked before I turned the handle, I would instead have locked the door and run away. But I only thought of this after I opened it. Often, I see the same pattern with sin. In retrospect, I can recognise the place where I took the wrong path, where if I had only looked ahead it would not have been too late to turn back. But I plod on, blinkered, choosing not to see where I am going.

• Sometimes, we want to let sin in.

Or at least we think we do. Let's be honest. Sin feels good. If it didn't, we wouldn't do it. When you're caught up in that moment of rage or lust or pride or whatever it may be, it makes you feel good. This is what's meant by 'the flesh is weak'. This is why the deranged mailman asks me, "Don't you want to let me in?" Because part of me does. It might be exciting.

• Sin is stronger than you.

Many times, I have tried to defeat sin on my own. Newsflash: It doesn't work. If I could just will myself to stop sinning, I would. But I can't. Once I've started fighting to close that door, I know already that I am not strong enough. I cannot win.

• Sin wants to murder you.

"The wages of sin is death." Sin wants to take as many of you as he can, and throw you down from your rightful place as children of God.

• You are helpless.

As I just said, you cannot beat sin. Not by yourself. One puny little human is not going to stand a chance. There is nothing you can do.

EXCEPT

That isn't where the story ends. The dream was wrong.

My Daddy here on earth is lovely. But he won't always be there to save me. One time, when I was a teenager, I set fire to the kitchen. It took three shouts before he realised I wasn't just being annoying. And now that I don't live with him, his response times will likely be even longer. He is a wonderful father and would do anything in his power to protect me, but he is not infallible. He won't always know when I am in trouble. When I called for him in the dream, he couldn't hear me.

But God, on the other hand, my Daddy in the sky, will always hear me. Whenever I am in danger, I can call on him and he will answer me. And he is stronger than sin. He has already beaten sin to a pulp with a couple of bits of wood. Sin doesn't stand a chance against God.

So that's what I'm going to do from now on. Or at least try to. When the crazy mailman of sin tries to break into my life, I will call for Daddy.

Even when it's a whisper, even in a silent prayer, He will hear me.