Gifts (Part 2)

Good morning and welcome to the last blog post of the year. Last week I talked about Jesus, the biggest, most incredible gift ever given. This week, I am thinking in more recent terms. I am called to reflect on what 2013 has brought me. And it doesn't take long to realise that God has given me a lot of good things this year.

I don't mean material things, of course, though I did get a rather good haul of Christmas and birthday presents this year. Chiefly, I mean people. A lot of amazing people have come into my life, people I didn't know at all. And there have been quite a few people I already knew, who have come to play a bigger part than they had before. And each one has touched my life and made a lasting positive impact on me and the way I view the world. Thank you all for being such a wonderful blessing.

I have a job and a home and a family that I love. I have unprecedented good health. I have places I can sing and, through this blog and the other thing I do, places I can write. I am developing the talents I always wanted to work on, and discovering new ones I didn't even know I had. I am learning more about what it means to be me.

But that's not all. God has given me a lot of other, less tangible things as well. At the end of the year, I realise I have travelled a long way on my emotional and spiritual journey. Though I still have far to go, I can sit back for a second and see how far I've come. This year has seen the beginnings of a transformation.

So as I take a moment now to be still and count my blessings, I encourage you to do the same. Maybe you will find this easy, but maybe you won't. Maybe 2013 has not been a good year for you. Maybe you have lost things you used to have, or not received things you had hoped to receive. But no year is without good points. Take time to appreciate what God has given you. And thank him.

Gifts (Part 1)

Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it:

Christmas is all about GIFTS.

That's right, presents. Not about giving presents but receiving them. As selfish and materialistic as that may sound, it's the truth. At Christmas we celebrate gifts.

Or at least, Christmas is all about one particular gift.

For to us a child is born,

    to us a son is given,

    and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

    Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,

    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

(Isaiah 9:6)

I'm talking of course about the gift sent down to us just over two thousand years ago. The gift of our Lord Jesus Christ. I'd just like to take a moment to remind you all of that, to take a pause myself to give thanks for that which was given to me. A reconciliation with the Father and the chance to be adopted and accepted as a child of God.

Now that's a pretty neat present.

At the End of the Day

Just to throw everybody off kilter, I'm writing this post in the evening instead of the morning. And at the end of the day, what have I got to show for it?

I have glitter stuck to my jeans, I've figured out how to change the settings on our Christmas lights, and I've consumed a good helping of chocolate cake. But most of all, what I've learned is this:

You can't know what the day will bring until you reach the end of it.

I've had a day that started pretty badly, got worse, got worse again, was given up for lost by the time I had my breakfast, then dramatically got better and better until it became one of the best days I've had in a long time.

This morning I woke up tired. There was no milk for breakfast. So I went to the shop. When I got back from the shop I had milk, but no time to eat my cereal. Then on the way to work it started to rain. And I didn't have my coat. And when we got off the bus it rained harder. I was not impressed.

So I started my day not a happy bunny. But then all sorts of wonderful things happened. A birthday, with corresponding cake. I breakthrough or two at work. Glitter. Singing. Emotional moments. Catching the bus at the last minute. Successful shopping. Chocolate. A fabulous dinner cooked for me. Chilling with friends. Present wrapping. Sparkly Christmas tree.

All this in a day that I thought would be a bad one. By nine o'clock I was in a grump and not expecting anything to lift my mood. But it seems I was quite wrong. The moral of the story: Never assume what the future will bring. There is no guarantee that your bad day will continue to be bad. 

Look forward with expectation instead of dread. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

The Long Walk To Freedom

First off, I'd like to pay my respects to Nelson Mandela. I don't fully know or understand the lengths to which he went to secure freedom for his people. But I do know that he was one man who radically changed the world for the better, fighting again and again for justice, truth and grace.

Now he is in a place where there is no imprisonment, pain or injustice. Where sickness cannot damage the body, and people no longer hurt one another. Where all who know the Way are welcomed in regardless of race, social standing or wealth. 
Now he is truly free.

I Have A Black Puppy

Ok so I'm cheating again. This is a Here's One I Made Earlier. I'm writing this on Sunday because I think on Monday morning I will need my sleep. In six months, this is the first time I have done this.

A few months ago, a friend introduced me to this very cool video of a book called I Had A Black Dog, which describes very well what it is like to live with depression. That is what I am going to talk about today. It's a topic I have largely avoided on this blog, but now seems the right time to tell you where I have come from.

Ten years ago, I had a very large black dog. He dominated all of my life. I couldn't do anything or go anywhere without the black dog going with me. He squashed me down until I couldn't remember who I was any more. There was no me without the blackness.

I stopped going to school and just stayed at home in bed all the time. I picked up some unhelpful coping strategies which - if I'm honest - only made things worse. It was like I had fallen into a big black pit that I couldn't climb out of. It all seemed hopeless and I considered taking my own life.

Then I met Jesus. And everything changed. Not straight away in some miraculous, instantaneous transformation. But gradually, over the next couple of years, the black dog got smaller and smaller and began to leave me alone for longer and longer periods of time. I found I could hold my head up again, begin to think about the future. That not everything was black and grey all around me. There were colours and sunshine. I remembered what 'happy' was.

Now I have to admit, it's not all plain sailing. The black dog still visits me from time to time, nibbling at my ankles and growling dark thoughts into my brain. But he's no longer the fearsome beast he once was. He's more like a puppy, jumping up to get your attention, but not yet big enough to push you over. And I'm learning not to feed him.

I think I will probably always have a black puppy. I grew up with him and the bad habits in my thought patterns are hard to kick. But I know it will never engulf me like it did before. And whenever I feel like I'm drowning in the sea of depression, I know I have a Lifesaver there ready to pull me out. God's hands will lift me to the stars.