What's It Got To Do With You, Lord?

Some days everything seems to go right. You wake up feeling sunny and know you have a great day ahead of you. Your plans come together and everything just works.
Other days, like the day I'm having today, you wake up and wish you hadn't. The world doesn't feel a very friendly place to be and you suddenly realise you're not a particularly wonderful person either. I don't want to do life today.

This isn't the post I wanted to write today. I wanted to write about cake. I had a nice little story planned that would allow me to avoid talking about anything uncomfortable. I think I preferred this blog when God didn't make me be honest about my bad points.

I've been a bit cross with God this weekend. He keeps asking me to do things I don't want to do, and He won't do as He's told.

And I have no idea where this post is heading. Because I am not the leader. And that annoys me.

On occasion, I truly act as if Jesus is Lord, and obey Him without question. And, unsurprisingly, things usually work out pretty well when I do that. But I am by nature a very bossy and stubborn person. I don't like being told what to do.
Who are You, God, to boss me around? What's it got to do with You?

Oh. Right.

This guy, right, invented the universe. Out of nothing. Just by saying so. He just said "Let there be stuff." And then stuff existed. And not just any old stuff. It was good stuff.
This guy, he looked at the stuff he had made, and he loved it. All of it. Even the people. Even the people that told him to get lost and they could manage perfectly well without him, thanks.
This guy, he watched as his people, the darling children he had made, fell further and further into pain and suffering, further and further away from him.
This guy, so broken-hearted was he, that he was willing to do anything to rescue his people, to be able to hold them close in his arms again.
This guy, though he was used to being enthroned on the clouds and worshipped by angels, came down into our world as a helpless child. He lived with us, as one of us, and felt what it was to be human. He knew friendship and joy, rejection and pain.
This guy, not content to just do a few miracles and give us some advice, let us, the people he created and loved, beat him, mock him, torture him and put him to death. He didn't even try to stop us.
This guy, he went down into the depths, bore all the guilt and shame and consequences of our sin, then chose to forgive us. To forgive us. By choice.
This guy, even death couldn't hold him down. So strong and mighty is he that he can take all of that, everything the world heaped upon him, and still get up again. He crushed death like a flea.
This guy, who conquered death and pain and tears and shame and all evil, didn't want to keep all this good stuff to himself. After everything we had done, even after we had rejected him, he invited us to share in his victory. To march alongside him as he waved the banner of truth and light and hope.
This guy, though he totally has no need to, gives us opportunities to take part in the healing of the world. To bring his heart to the people, to show his love, to continue to restore everything that was lost into the wholeness of his glory.

Who am I to say no to that?

So now I have reached the bottom of the page, I realise why I am not feeling great today. How many times have I said this just in the past two months of writing this blog? Too many. But it seems I have not yet learnt from my mistakes.
It's not about me. It's not about what I want. The amazing things that happen around me, that's not because of who I am. It's because of the incredible Lord and Saviour who delights in me and loves to see His Kingdom come. I cannot do any of this by myself, but only by His grace.

I am not a particularly wonderful person. I am certainly no better or more special than anyone else. But I have a wonderful God.